Grace Unbound
by DarlingRed
Summary: When Metatron learns that Castiel is an angel once again, he sends a strong message that leaves everyone in the Bunker reeling. With time running out and Cas in a vunerable state, Dean is left keeping everything together. Wing!fic, Destiel because of reasons
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hi everyone! *waves like a crazy person* This is just a little something I have been thinking about for awhile. I'm not sure how many chapters but I do know the chapters will be longer than my usual fics. This was just supposed to be a one shot but yea.  
Bunch of UST, blood and feels.  
The usual.**

**Also in this 'verse, it takes place after Cas hijacks other angel dude's grace but BEFORE Dean gets the Mark. They are still looking for Abaddon. So yea...ok! And as also reviews are gold and make me feel happy.**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. Still don't own. Bummer dude.**

They hadn't actually been looking for trouble this time. Honest truth they had been out that day on a simple supply run when they heard a call over their police scanner about something odd in the warehouse only twenty minutes away. Sam had given Dean the look, which pretty much quieted any argument on the matter as the groceries were stored in the back seat next to Cas, who had insisted on tagging along.

It happened too fast; one minute they were busting in the door of the warehouse (always with the abandoned warehouses) and the next thing Dean and Sam Winchester knew they were being hurtled against the opposing wall and pressed down by an invisible force.

Dean saw Cas take a step forward, confusion apparent on his face as he tried to come to their aid but he quickly leapt back as a ring holy fire suddenly surrounded him.

"Cas!" Dean yelled as he saw the celestial being step back with a snarl and an obvious wince. Castiel put himself in the middle of the circle, seemingly pulling in on himself in the cramped space.

"Yes be careful Castiel, I would hate to see those pretty wings of yours get singed." Came taunting voice came from the shadows. A brunette with black eyes smiled and she walked towards the three men, her heels clicking on the wet, smooth cement, circling Castiel like a predator would its prey.

"Let him go you bitch!" Dean snapped, struggling at the invisible bonds that held him.

"Oh I don't think so," She purred, her attention turned to the eldest Winchester. "Metatron is quite unpleased that Castiel has rejected his gift of humanity. He's looking to level the playing field."

Sam scoffed, "Metatron's having demons do his dirty work now?"

The demon glared at Sam, "Just think of me as the muscle,' she turned back to Castiel. "He gave me a special assignment." Her lips curled around her teeth in a cruel smile, getting just close enough to flames that she wouldn't catch the edge of her frayed jeans on fire.

Castiel didn't say anything to the demon as she stood before him, just stood in the middle of the flame with his a glowering look.

But the demon didn't look put down, but instead smiled, opening a small, leather pocket book from her back pocket and began to read.

Dean couldn't place the broken, rough language that she was reading and from the perplexed look on Sam's face, neither could he.  
But Dean caught the flicker on Castiel's face and saw the trembling of his jaw that replaced the pissed off look he had been previously shooting the demon.

"Cas?" Dean asked, his voice trying to break though the loud chanting. But Cas wasn't looking at him, he was completely focused on the woman in front of him until he winced hard and grabbed at his shoulder.

"No, you can't!" He cried out, his face contorted in pain as the demon laughed between the words.

"Cas whats going on!" Dean asked again, attempting once in again with fervor to escape the demons hold on him.

The angel looked up at Dean and he almost wished he hadn't; his eyes were wide and filled with pain. They slammed shut as he dropped to his knees, balling his fists and digging them into the sides of his head and he yelped.

Dean had never felt so helpless in his life, he was stung up while whatever the hell that black eyed bitch was doing to Cas.

He couldn't move when he saw Cas shifting in pain in the impossibly tight circle, unable to move too much in fear of being set ablaze from the ever burning ring of holy fire.

The chanting became louder as the air became electric, the smell of burning wires and ozone filled the large room and Dean felt the hairs on his arms stand on end. And thats when the spell ceased and out of Cas came a loud scream that tore through to his true voice, the windows splintering and crashing around them, glass showering them all.  
Dean and Sam could do nothing, not even cover their ears against the assault of Castiel's voice.

The ringing settled in Dean's ears and everything was quiet. There was a loud buzzing in his head that was undoubtedly the work of Castiel's screaming and it churned his stomach when he finally allowed himself to open his eyes.

The hunter expected to see his friend bloody and broken in the circle, perhaps dead. But nothing prepared him for what he saw when he opened his eyes.

Wings. Four actually.

"Oh my god Cas," He heard Sam whisper in awe and undisguised horror at the sight.

Cas was still in the middle of the holy fire, but his body was curled into a ball, his hands intertwined over his head as the new appendages quivered as they attempted feebly to fold themselves back into their owners body, twitching away from the burning fire.

"Thats better," The black eyed woman sighed, closing the small book and returning it to her back pocket. "Metatron has plans for you angel and you were ruining them."

"You son of a bi-"

"I don't have any orders for you, Metatron is not concerned about what is going on in Hell," She turned back Cas with a wink, "Good luck hot wings."

And she was gone.

Dean and Sam slammed into the concrete floor beneath them, Dean lifting his head immediately and shoving himself up and carefully approached the now doused holy oil. Despite the fact that the fire was now non existent, Castiel hadn't moved, still curled in as his wings spasmed again as they seemed to move on their own accord.

"Dean,' Whispered Sam, placing his hand on Dean's shoulder, stopping him from moving any closer. "Be careful."

Dean just nodded and stepped over the ring silently before kneeling next to his friend. Now only inches away from the angel he could hear him taking deep and shuddering breaths, his trench coat was covered in blood where the wings seemingly pushed through his skin.

The hunter carefully took his hand and started to place it on the angel's shoulder until he stopped mid air as Cas looked up from his position, teeth bared and ground together, his eyes wide and frightened.

"Don't. Touch. Me." He growled out, dropping his head again with a deep breath as if he was trying to compose himself.

Dean backed up a bit, his hands in the air as he tired to look as non threatening as possible.

"Its ok Cas,' he whispered, taking in the raw man in front of him. He had never seen Cas this unwound before and he never wanted to see it again. "C'mon, tell me what to do, man.

"Just don't touch them."

Dean nodded, motioning to Sam to come closer. "Cas, can you walk? We need to get you back to the Bunker."

Cas shook his head, lifting his eyes to meet Dean's. "I am unsure. The human body was never made to support these appendages."

Dean looked over the heavy set of wings, there was a large primary wing set on top covered in thick white feathers. The pair underneath were smaller in scale but made up of dark grey plumage. The tips of the wings look seared from the holy fire and it made his stomach sink.

Dean scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "Can't you just, I dunno, put them back in?"

Cas lifted himself with monumental effort to his knees, his hands clenched on his thighs as he struggled to stay up right. He looked at Dean in undisguised frustration, his eyes still bright with pain and confusion.

"Does it look like I can just put them back?" He spat out the last part angrily. Dean tried not to take Cas's venomous looks personally, if anyone knew about lashing out it was him.

"Sam, help me get him," Dean commanded, walking around to Castiel's side as the angel tried desperately to stay up right as the wings quivered helplessly at his side. They kept brushing the floor and immediately lifting up as Cas winced; any pressure or touch seemed to be uncomfortable and Dean wasn't sure how they were going to move him without jostling the massive appendages.

"Um, where do I..." Questioned Sam, awkwardly trying to find a clear space to put his hands to assist the angel, still in obvious awe of the celestial wings that he was finally able to see.

"Just don't touch the feathers Sammy, lets get him to the Impala," Dean offered, putting a hand underneath Castiel's arm and place other hand as a steadying hold on his chest as they lifted.

Castiel groaned as he was helped from his knees, his vessel unable to keep to the immense pinions upright as they drooped as dragged to the ground. He gasped, gripping Dean's other arm and leaning on his heavily, his breath coming out as short gasps.

"You ok there man?"

Castiel shook his head, "Just please, get me out of here. I am vulnerable in this state and am unable to defend you."

Sam scoffed as they shuffled to the door, which seemed to have moved further away from them since they walked in only a few minutes before. "Lets just worry about you Cas, any clue on how to fix this?"

Dean could tell that the angel was trying to concentrate as they neared the door, "I am unsure. I have only heard stories of this happening. Nothing like this has happened in over a millennium."

They stopped at the single door, the Impala sitting just outside, gleaming in the sunlight.

"So, the door..." Sam observed, taking into account the large wingspan that was currently dragging behind them and the measurements of the door that they were able to walk in easily before.

"Just be careful," The angel breathed, rolling his shoulders as he seemed to attempt to bring the wings closer to his body, tucking them in as close as possible.

The older hunter walked through first, Castiel putting his hand on the door jam to get keep him steady as Dean pulled open the door as far as it would go and placing a large rock at the base to prevent it from swinging closed.

"Alrighty feathers lets take it slow."

Cas made a face at the name much to Dean's chagrin; Cas took a deep breath and pushed himself through the small space, allowing the younger Winchester to let go of him as cried out as the wings were pressed and pulled through the opening. Dean watched him teeter and hurriedly grabbed his upper arm and steered him towards the Impala.

"Sam get the door!" Dean shouted, the heavy seraph testing his strength as his knees began to buckle.

"How the hell are you going to cram him in there Dean?"

"What do you wanna do, tie him to the top of the car?" Dean snapped back, feeling the muscles in Castiel's arms tense as they reached the car.

"That would be unadvisable as the drag from the wind against my wings would create-" Cas started, still wobbling but his brows were drawn tightly as if he was attempting to find the merit of tying him to the black Impala.

"Dude, not being serious. Just duck your head and cram in," The older Winchester cutting him off with a wave of his hand. He palmed the familiar weight of the Impala's keys in his right hand as Castiel seemingly wedged himself into the back seat of the car, looking more than uncomfortable as the two sets of wings pressed against the windows and around the angel.

"You okay?" Dean huffed, setting down in the front seat and starting the car quickly, looking back in the rearview mirror and seeing nothing but grey and white feathers.

"Just please-drive quickly," Castiel ground out, his forehead breaking out into a sweat despite the cool October weather.

"You got it," Dean switched the car to drive and spun the tires, putting as much distance between them and that damn warehouse as possible.

**SPNSPNSPN**

Dean kept glancing back in the rearview mirror; Cas was wedged in the back seat with an cold look on his face. The hunter tried not to wince with the angel every time they hit a bump or pot hole while the angel closed his eyes and clenched his jaw tightly.

"You alright back there Cas?" Dean asked allowing himself to throw a look behind his shoulder.

The angel just nodded stiffly, his body rigid and unmoving while the wings however were constantly trembling and vibrating against his seat. At one point Dean was sure he felt a few brush along his neck, but when he went to swat at the annoyance they were gone.

Dean tried to keep his face neutral as the angel stumbled down the steps to Bunker, the wings dragging in the dirt and foliage as he trudged through the door.

"I'll start looking into this,' Sam said as soon as the door was shut and locked behind them. "You got this Dean?" He asked, his eyes falling on the massive wings that quickly took up space in the dining room.

Dean startled at the sound of his name, but nodded never taking his eyes off Castiel who had his head bowed and had resigned to keeping his hands on the sturdy table to support him.

Sam took off to the study leaving the two there in an uncomfortable silence.

Clearing his throat, Dean pulled out a chair and sat down across from the angel who still had not bothered to look up. His chest was still heaving as if he had just ran a marathon.

"What can I do Cas?"

"I don't know," Cas bit back, his nails biting into the hard wood of their table. "Exposing an angel's wings is dangerous. My human form is not equipped to handle them and yet my grace still sustains them."

Silence again, Dean mulled over his words carefully before opening his mouth again.

"Well, they look kind of bad ass dude," Dean admitted, not lying even a bit though he had hoped the words would lighten the mood a bit.

Cas huffed out a short laugh and inclined his head, "Thank you Dean."

The hunter nodded and went to stand, circling the angel carefully, taking in the tattered coat and still leaking blood from where the wings met bone and flesh.

"We gotta get that coat off of you, see the damage and go from there," He finally said, opening a drawer behind him and grabbing a pair of sturdy scissors. "I'll cut it off unless you think you can mojo it away."

Castiel shook his head, "My grace has been weakened considerably."

Dean took that as consent and stepped around the quivering wings carefully, noticing how they shied away from the scissors as he bent down to grab the tail end of the tan trench coat.

"Keep the wings out of the way alright?" Instructed Dean, cutting up the seam carefully not to nick the other clothing or skin.

Castiel just nodded, his breath catching at Dean made his way to the middle of his back where the scissors were having a difficult time cutting through the blood drenched fabric. Dean found himself hmming quietly to distract the angel, though he didn't know why.

When he reached the back of Castiel's dress pants he remembered the thick, white button up that was also in the way. Nervously he untucked the back of Cas's shirt from his pants, which garnered him a look from the angel that was thrown over his shoulder.

"I'm not getting fresh man, the shirt needs to come off too."

Castiel nodded, and if Dean wasn't so caught up in being completely embarrassed he would have noticed flush of red that had crept up Cas's cheeks that matched his own.

The coat was cut in the middle of now hung off of Cas's shoulders and the joints of the wings where they had made their sudden and graphic appearance. Dean made a quick job of cutting through to the joints of the wings; the cold brush of the metal shears barely brushed the base of wing but Castiel sucked in a deep breath and immediately went rigid as his wings flared out in panic.

Dean stepped back with his hands up, "Whoa, holy shit Cas I barely even touched it!"

"I told you they are sensitive!" The angel snapped, his anxiety barely contained as he struggled to control the new appendages.

"Ok, shit I'm almost done," Dean said gruffly, taking the two pieces of the now ruined jacket and carefully letting it fall off of the other man's body.

As soon as he did so he nearly had to step back in awe. The wings fanned out as the material brushed down the sides of them and without the bulky coat and thick collared shirt Cas's muscular body was on display with the wings at full span as if they sensed that they were no longer confined by the stiff clothing.

"Holy shit," Dean whispered, unable to form any more words coherently.

"Dean?" Came Cas's gravely rough voice, obviously anxious upon hearing the words that Dean had uttered.

"Uh yea,' Dean shook his head, shaking himself out of his revere before stepping closer; the angels back was a mess. The skin that had been broken in order to make way for the new bone and feathers was split and still leaking crimson. It had thankfully slowed to the point that Dean didn't feel like he needed to worry about the celestial being bleeding out. "I'm gonna grab some rags. The break isn't pretty but I don't think I wanna dare stitching any of that until we know what we're dealing with. I dunno if there are new nerve endings or something now."

Cas nodded his head in agreement and as Dean turned to walk off he noticed the angel's legs shaking in their attempt to keep him upright. Dean rolled his eyes and drug the chair he had been sitting in and spun it around so the back rest was facing the table.

"Sit," He commanded, gesturing to the chair. Cas looked at Dean and then at the chair dubiously before finally moving enough to straddle the chair and settle with a relived sigh, wrapping his arms around the back of it and settling his head on the head rest.

The hunter came back with an arm load of medical supplies and a bottled water.

"Here," he said, shoving the bottle into Cas's hands. "Drink and take these,' he commanded before handing him a few over the counter pain relievers.

Castiel took them without question, wincing as the water went down his dry throat.

The older Winchester found himself crouched behind the angel with an few antiseptic dipped gauze in his hands.

"Alright, made sure those things don't freak out on me,' he whispered, attempting to keep his voice as calm as possible as he could see the ghost bumps rising on the angels skin as his hands hovered over the unmarred parts of his back. "I'm going to fix you up but you have to stay still alright?"

Castiel nodded as his shoulders tensed in an effort to keep the wings from moving and Dean set the rag carefully on the broken skin around the base of the white wings.

He didn't get very far; unless you could how far he flew across the room when the wings suddenly flared up and beat so rapidly that the force of the wind threw him back against one of the book cases. If he wanted to count small miracles it was one that was blessedly free of any weapons so only the large volumes of dusty encyclopedias had broken free from the shelves.

"What the hell happened?!" He heard Sam's voice as he ran into the room hearing the commotion.

Two of the four chairs had toppled over, a painting had fallen from the far wall and of course Dean was now grunting as he attempted to free himself from the avalanche of old books.

Cas was holding onto the chair with a death grip, his eyes clenched so tight it looked like it hurt.

"Cas? You okay?" Sam asked, rushing over and placing a concerned hand on the angel's shoulder.

"Don't worry," Dean mumbled as he straightened his back with a painful crack and pop, "I'm fine over here, really."

"I cannot control them," Cas broke down finally, "I'm sorry Dean, this is much more inconvenient that I had initially realized."

"Listen," Dean says, rolling his shoulder with a grimace. Those books are ridiculously heavy and just as dusty. "Lets just hose you off and go from there ok?"

Sam raises an eyebrow incredulously, "Hose him off? Dean he isn't a dog."

Dean rolls his eyes and gestures to the wings, "Well obviously dumb ass, but as long as we clean him up I think the wounds will close up. Beside's I don't know about you but I am not going near those things again."

"These things you are so flippantly referring to are an extension of my grace," Castiel reminded him, his eyes squinted as he regarded the human before him. "But I do agree, I believe even the small bit of stolen grace should heal the wounds. But I will need holy water to purify the wings, normal water will only taint them further."

Throwing up his hands Dean smiled, "Finally getting somewhere!" He turned to Sam, "Sam go pray yourself up some holy water and meet me in the gym showers."

"The gym showers?" Castiel asked in confusion. To his knowledge the only places that the Winchester's used to clean themselves were the private baths located in each room.

"Oh yea we have huge showers in the back of the gym. You can um, ya know, stretch your wings out and shit," The second sentence caused Dean to stumble for some reason, his tongue not seeming to want to cooperate with his brain for any reason. It might have had something to do with the thought of Cas with steam rolling around him, his wings outstretched and nearly touching the-

Fuck.

He shook his head quickly. His friend was hurt and he was acting out some sick fantasy about his very male friend's celestial appendages.

"Dean?" Came Cas's voice again, rough, deep and questioning.

"Um yea, so lets start moving you down there," Dean walked around the chair and offered an arm to his friend who took it after a moment of searching the hunter's face. For what Dean didn't know.

Without the clothing rubbing against them, Castiel's wings seemed to be able lift themselves from the ground so only the vary tips of the second pair of slate colored wings brushed the floor.

Dean kept throwing backwards glances to the sullen angel who had kept his head downwards and the wings pulled as close to his body as possible in the narrow halls. Without his trademark trench coat he seemed smaller, more exposed and vulnerable. He had his arms wrapped around him, the tips of his fingertips kept brushing the tops of his wings almost lovingly.

Dean didn't say anything, he felt like whatever he had to say would not quite cover what he was thinking or even help to soothe whatever Cas was going through at the moment. Dean understood that the wings were essentially an extension of the grace that was inside Cas, an actual manifestation of the celestial wavelength that made up the seraph. He had no idea what that felt like, to have your soul bared like that. It almost felt blasphemous to look at them.

Dean opened the double doors to the gym and let the dejected angel walk through first. Cas looked around the gym, the mirrored walls on one side and the high ceiling proved a perfect space for Castiel to stretch his wings without bumping into a wall.

"Through that door," Dean motioned to door in the far corner, "I'm gonna get that holy water so just get situated."

Castiel nodded and moved to the bathroom, still looking curiously at the equipment as he passed them.

Dean opened the door to find his younger brother walking up towards him with two large jugs of holy water, the rosaries still floating at the bottom of the plastic jugs.

"This enough?" Sam asked, setting down the containers with a thud.

The older Winchester shrugged, "Not like I have ever had to do this before Sammy."

Sam nodded, digging his hands into his pockets, "Do you need help or..."

Dean scowled and shook his head, shouldering the jugs. The thought of someone else watching Cas with his wings, touching them...it made a pit in his stomach open.

"Naw I got this one man, hit the books for me though ok?"

"Yea sure," Sam responded, walking back from the way he came.

Dean struggled to open the door with the jugs of holy water, crossing the light wood floor and opening the glass doors to the showers was exercise in itself. Maybe he should lay off the extra bacon.

"Cas you about read-" Dean found himself staring with his mouth slightly ajar at the image in front of him. Castiel had his back turned to Dean, his wings opened wide and the tips resting against the adjoining stalls. His bloodied, dirt smeared pants had been thrown in the corner and now the only thing covering the man was a white towel wrapped loosely around his narrow hips. "Um, so I guess you can't do this yourself can ya?" He cleared his throat, adverting his eyes and setting down the jugs on the wooden bench that wrapped around the large showering room.

"It would be difficult. Any assistance you would be willing to offer would be appreciated," Cas replied softly, not looking Dean in the eye. "If it doesn't make you uncomfortable."

Dean forced himself to shrug and smile as he unscrewed the tops of the water containers.

"Just helping you out Cas, nothing to be uncomfortable about. Just uh," he gestured to the towel, keeping his eyes fixed on the holy water. "keep that thing in place alright?"

Castiel nodded, the one hand that was not bracing himself against the white tile went to hold the towel tighter around himself.

Dean walked towards the angel cautiously, the jug in one hand and a terry cloth in the other.

"So I just pour it on?"

"Carefully if you please," Cas nodded.

The hunter let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding and pour a large portion of the water in a large glass, he was able to get a better grip on the glass instead of the jug and risk pouring the entire container over Castiel's sensitive wings.

"Ok, I'm starting," He warned, placing a nervous hand just below the new wing joint. He pressed gently against the blood smeared, pale skin before allowing the holy water to drip onto the broken skin.

Castiel groaned, immediately lurching forward and leaning heavily on the cool tile as the holy water cleansed the wound and washed away the blood and grim. There was not such a violent reaction as last time; his wings stayed thankfully still besides a slight tremble as the water once again hit the joint and the smaller feather around the base of the thick bone.

Dean ventured further up the wing, noticing as he was closer the ruffled feathers that the smell of holy oil and fire had marred the wings. Smears of dirt and dribbles of blood smattered the white feathers and crusted the tips of more than a few of the larger primary quills.

The holy water seemed to be doing the trick though, the smell and the dirt seemed to melt away as the water beaded down the tops of the wings. Dean was standing on his toes in order to reach the highest joint there.

He found himself watching the smaller muscles in Castiel's back contract as the water once again hit the wings, he may not be as muscular as Sam but he had muscle tone hidden underneath the baggy clothing.

"Can you um, stretch this one out a bit,' Dean asked as he circled around to the front of Cas. "I need to get the second pair."

Cas just nodded and bit his lip as he forced his physical body to obey the command. The grey wings spread under his instruction, the smaller ones towards the tip were burnt. Dean winced as he realized those were the ones that bore the brunt of the holy fire ring when they were first brought forth from Cas's grace. He was kneeling now, careful to avoid getting his knees in the water that churned murkily down the drain in the center of the room.

The hunter caught Cas biting his bottom lip as the water splashed onto the inner feathers.

"Cas you okay man?" He asked concerned as a groan broke from the angel's pursed lips. Castiel just nodded hurriedly, his eyes still closed and his forehead nearly touching the tile wall at this point.

Dean took him at his word and continued to cleanse the under wing.  
There was one feather towards the end that was burnt badly, twisted against the others with what looked to be a small twig bent among the quills. He did it without thinking; he reached forward and carefully maneuvered the stick out of the burnt feathers, using his fingers that had been covered in holy water to straighten the injured plumage.

The effect was instantaneous. Castiel gasped, his wings beat lightly and curled up to him in retreat, Castiel himself moved away from Dean and ended up bumping into the wall behind him, his breathing erratic.

"Dude, I'm sorry I wasn't thinking!" Dean apologized promptly, the cup that had been holding the holy water dropping to the wet cement as he backed away from the alarmed angel.

Castiel didn't answer him, just stood there with his blue eyes wide and the wings curled in as close as possible to him.

"Listen, I'm sorry ok?" Dean exclaimed, holding a hand out to show that he wasn't going to touch again. "You had something stuck and I just took it out, I wasn't even thinking."

The angel took a minute to nod, his wings relaxing a bit.

"I apologize for reacting like I did,' he replied, his voice rougher than it had been moments before. "These wings leave me vulnerable, your touch is very...intense."

Dean just nodded his understand, moving to twist the caps onto the holy water and nearly dropping them when he saw how low the towel had ridden on Castiel's hips in his desire to get away. His hip bones stood out in sharp contrast to the rest of his muscular frame, while a sparse line of dark hair disappeared into the towel-

"Dean?" Came Cas's apprehensive, gruff voice breaking his train of thought.

"Yea what? Just putting these up. In case we need them again," He covered, wiping some of the excess water that had splashed on him from his brow.

"Thank you for your assistance. I feel better," Castiel resigned, his shoulders sagging a bit with what the Winchester hoped was relief.

"Yea no problem man, just dry up and meet me in the library. We can see if Sam has anything."

Dean didn't wait to hear Cas response but rushed out of the bathroom that seemed to have gotten smaller and smaller the longer he was in there alone with the angel.

He quickly made his way down the hall to the library, wiping his damp hands on his over shirt and wishing away all thoughts he had on the blue eyed angel out of his head.

"Sam, tell me you got something," He exclaimed upon seeing his younger brother surrounded by dusty texts and large volumes that were obviously written in enochian.

"Yea I got something," He sighed, closing a particularly heavy text, "But its not necessarily good."

Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, "When is it ever. Give it to me."

"The wings are so sensitive and freaking out because they aren't Cas's. They belong to the angel that he hijacked that grace from," Sam explained, running a hand over his face, looking forlorn. "Its not going to get better, Dean. The grace is doing everything to compensate for the wings being visible now, without that the extra weight could cripple him. We need to get rid of the grace and the wings will die away."

"You want to jack Cas's mojo? Again?"

"Dean, he will be dangerous and vulnerable like this. If those wings are injured or anyone gets a hold of him they can kill him. They are a liability."

Dean sat down hard in the leather chair, "We're not doing that to Cas, not after everything he's already been through."

"Maybe we should give him a choice. He wasn't doing that bad as human you know."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Yea I'm sure the slushie machines will never be the same without him."

Sam gave him his token bitch face before pushing aside the stack of books, "Listen, talk to him or whatever I'm going to bed. But you gotta know that Metatron knew what he was doing when he sent that demon to cast that spell. He knows that without that grace Cas will be human again, but this is way worse than before."

The older Winchester sighed, "Yea, I got it."

"So you tell him tonight, or I will tell him in the morning."

"Tell me what?"

Both Dean and Sam turned to find Castiel, still shirtless but wearing a pair of worn jeans that barely fit, the loose band riding low on his waist. His wings were cleaner, the white feathers almost glowing in the over head lighting.

"Sit down Cas," Sam said, pulling up a chair for the tired angel.

"Is something the matter?" Castiel asked anxiously, his gaze falling on Dean.

"We gotta find a way to get rid of those wings Cas, you aren't safe with them out," Dean explained, getting straight to the point as he couldn't bare the look that the angel was giving him.

"I realize that, I thought I had told you so in the first place," Castiel replied, clearly confused by the brother's unwillingness to share the information he obviously already knew.

"You don't understand Cas, those wings aren't yours. They belong to the angel you stole the grace from. Whatever spell that demon whammied you with not only made the wings visible but your grace is slowly going to break down with all the energy it is expending keeping those wings visible," Sam made clear, leaning forward on his knees and trying to keep his voice low and steady.

"So the grace is-"

"Its gonna kill you Cas, unless we can figure out how to reverse whatever she did." The older hunter interjected.

The angel opened his mouth then closed it, his eyes falling to the ground. His dark brown hair still dripped with condensation from the shower, his skin raising from the cooler temperature of the library.

"Then we must find a way to rectify my mistake. Before I hurt anyone else."

"Dude the only one you are hurting is yourself," Dean reminded him, of course that bit of knowledge did nothing to ease the ache in his chest.

Cas looked up at the two men with surprise, "You have seen many angel's die. How do you think my passing would any different?"

Dean and Sam both looked at each other in shock. Dean hadn't been thinking about that. When any angel they had seen die a massive shockwave is produced, what would happen to an angel with volatile, hijacked grace do?

Cas seemed to realize that the impact of the situation had just hit them.

"If my grace collapses while I am in the bunker I could destroy everything."

**AN: So this was just supposed to be a fluffy, h/c long one shot and then BOOM! son of a bitch grew a plot.  
Goddammit.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: WOW. I have gotten such a positive response from this fic, THANK YOU! I am giving myself more time with this one, so the chapters will be longer. Reviews are gold!**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. Sucks balls.**

Dean sat back at the revelation, running a hand down his face. He stared back at the angel who was still sitting with the chair back in front of him, his arms wrapped around it tightly. Castiel's normally impeccable posture was now hunched and his shoulders pulled forwards as if in a way to make himself appear smaller. He felt vulnerable this way, exposed and frightened; Dean could see it written on his skin, the way his eyes were bright as if he was waiting to jump at any moment.

"Hey," Dean said to the angel, drawing his gaze to him and away from the floor, "We won't let that happen ok? We'll fix this."

"I should go, I am putting you in danger-"

"Fuck that, I am not sending you away. Not again," Dean set his jaw and sat back, crossing his arms in resolution. He let Cas walk out that door once while he with a target on his back once and he wasn't about to let it happen again.

Castiel looked at Sam carefully, dragging his eyes between the two brothers nervously.

"Dean's right Cas. You stay here, we'll keep you safe," The younger Winchester agreed sternly. "We've gone up against way worse. Just stay, alright?"

Dean didn't like to drawn look on Castiel's face, or the way he seemed to be measuring the brothers words with his own doubts in his head. It took a terse moment, but he finally nodded, looking at Dean nervously as he did so.

"May I...lie down? The weight of the wings are quite uncomfortable," He asked timidly, looking at the soft leather couch that currently was vacant next to a small side table.

"Dude we're not having you crash on the couch," Dean scoffed, standing up suddenly and taking Cas's elbow. "You got your own room feathers."

The angel nodded and allowed the hunter to help him up, wincing as the wings pulled at the new fissures in his back as he stood. The weight was slowly dragging the wings to the floor as the angel seemed to exhausted to stop it.

Dean found himself bracing the angel against him as Cas seemed to lean into the man, his eyes tired and blinking heavily as the fatigue suddenly caught up with him.

"I apologize-"

"Shut up and start walking," The hunter cut him off gruffly, not liking the way Sam was watching them with an unreadable expression on his face. "I gotcha." He said a bit softer, letting Cas set the pace down the hall, shuffling and wincing all along the way.

Dean made a quick decision; his bedroom was closer and the one they had set up for guests was at the end of the hall and by the way the angel was swaying there was no way he was going to make it that far before the weight of the wings took him down.

"Stop here," Dean commanded, pausing to open the door. His stomach twisted a bit as he realized that this was the first time Cas had seen his room; he had been so thrilled to finally have a place of his own. He remembered setting the room up to his liking and wondering if the angel would approve of the decor before promptly shaking that thought out of his head. Where had he gotten that idea anyway? Its not like Cas needed to be in his room anyway. Or approve of it in anyway.

The older Winchester helped the injured celestial into the room, shutting the door softly behind him. He saw Cas look around the foreign room, his wings relaxing almost instantly- the tips of the wing span brushing the corner of Dean's desk.

"Where are we? I've never been to this room."

Dean tried to think about why he felt heat spreading on his cheeks or why he looked at the ground when he replied, "Its uh- my room. Yours was down the hall, figured you could crash here for a bit until we get you fixed up." Pull it together Winchester. For fucks sake.

Cas nodded, looking touched by the gesture. His chest was still rising and falling a bit too quickly for Dean's liking, he allowed himself to view the wounds on Castiel's back. It made his stomach churn at the sight; the wings had burst through so quickly it ripped the skin. They needed stitches but he wasn't sure if the damned things would let him get that close with a needle. He caught the angel sway again dangerously to the left.

"Whoa there man, lets get you horizontal ok?" Dean took Castiel's upper arm and lead him to the edge of the large bed. "Lay on your stomach and we'll see if we can position the wings right so they don't start knocking shit off the walls."

The angel nodded in agreement and allowed himself to fall onto the soft mattress with a groan. His legs were still half hanging off the bed and the wings were shuddering as the unintentionally brushed across some of the fixtures of the hunter's room.

Dean sighed and ran a hand through the short crop of hair exasperatedly, before crouching down and lifting Cas's legs onto the bed. He had switched the blood stained suit pants for a pair of soft cotton sweats that were standard issue in the gym. It was off putting, see the angel in something so casual. Sure he had seen him when he was human. A dirty hoodie and equally stained jeans already seemed odd to the hunter but seeing him so exposed was unsettled. It was also in part of the wings; as much as Dean wished he could just look at them, the details of the soft pinions and the differing shades he stopped himself. Because a dude should not be so transfixed with his equally male friend's appearance as he was at that moment.

"I apologize," Came Cas's grave voice, muffled slightly by the pillow.

"Apologize for what?" Dean asked, placing a light blanket over the bottom half of the angel, careful not to touch the wings with the woven material.

"My wings. They are unsettling you," Castiel answered, moving his head away from a pillow more and pushing his arms under it, getting more comfortable.

Dean side stepped the right wing carefully, putting his desk chair away from the feathery hazard before sitting down at the edge of the bed.

"Naw they don't bother me Cas. They bother me because they are bothering you," He leaned over to inspect the wounds, confused as to why the broken skin had not yet mended. "Dude why aren't you healing? Its been like an hour."

Cas sighed into Dean's pillow, "It is troublesome. But since the wings have manifested it seems most of my energy is being spent on keeping them from ripping this body apart. I can only assume the wounds will heal only slightly faster than a mortals."

"Yea well, we need to dress these then. I don't know about you but I don't want to deal with an infection," he patted the side of the bed, close to the angel's thigh. "Gimme just a sec, I'll set some gauze on the bastards and let you get some shut eye."

He saw the ruffled hair nod as he went to his bathroom, retrieving the small, dusty medical kit that he hadn't used yet. Popping the lid and unrolling the fresh gauze he walked back into the bedroom, mindful of the feathers seemed to take up most of the room.

Sitting down he carefully unrolled the gauze and set it on the empty spot next to Castiel's bare back and unscrewed a small tube of ointment.

"About to touch you ok? Try not to jerk away, and try to keep those bad boys as steady as possible kipshe?" Dean instructed, fingers hovering over the right wings base.

"I kipshe," Castiel replied, the pillow pulling tight under his head as if he was fisting his hands through the soft case.

Dean was careful; more careful than he even was with Sam. Sam was used to it, he was a hunter so blood, stitches and unorthodox medical necessities were part of the job. And hell Cas was a soldier, but he had never been like this to Dean. His time as a human had been spent mostly keeping away from the hunter, and that was Dean's fault. It bothered him more than he would like to admit that he was this vulnerable right now. His skin raised as he felt Dean's soft touch as the base of the wing, carefully applying the thin cream.  
Cas made a soft mewling noise from his place in the pillow, his back going rigid as he attempted to control the right wings as they shivered.

"Almost done," He whispered, grabbing the gauze and starting to wrap around the base of the wing and the wound, taping as he went.

Castiel's breathing was rapid as the gauze had been laid against the small feathers and broken skin, even while Dean was being as careful as possible he couldn't help but feel like a giant dick for hurting the angel.

He made quick work of the left wing, though it knocked off a few books on his shelf as he wrapped it. The noise had startled the angel but Dean kept his free hand pressed down on the middle of his back to remind him to keep still.

Dean finished wrapping the wing and taped the loose piece against it, his thumb brushing the over the top of the bandage and inadvertently caressing the soft feathers that laid above it. He barely realized he was doing it until Cas let out a small, almost inaudible moan and the soft feathers moved under his touch.

The hunter jerked back, rubbing his hands on his jeans as if he could get the feel of the feathers off by that way. He stood up quickly, patting the angel on the back awkwardly.

"So yea, yell if you need anything," He stammered, walking backwards into the door and fumbling with the door knob.

He vaguely heard Cas thanking him as he shut the door, but honestly, the roaring in his ears and the quick thumping of his heart seemed to drown out every other noise.

**SPNSPNSPN**

Sam and Dean sat at the large table with plates heaping with hot food Dean had painstakingly prepared. But he couldn't enjoy it; he kept throwing glances over his shoulder towards the hall, wondering if the angel would make its appearance. It must have caught his brothers attention because when he turned around for the 5th time, he was faced with Sam's bewildered expression, his fork half raised to his mouth.

"Problem?" Sam asked, his eyebrows raised and spaghetti drooping on his fork.

Dean felt his heart thump in his chest, like he had just been caught. Doing what he had no clue, he was just worried about the guy. I mean, thats normal, dude's their friend.

"Nothing, just thought I heard something," He grumbled, turning his attention back to his plate, swirling a ridiculous amount of noodles and sauce onto his fork and shoveling it into his mouth.

Shrugging, Sam continued eating but Dean felt his younger brother's eyes on him periodically through the few minutes of ignoring the other man.

"Dude what?" He finally snapped, slamming his fork down as the taller man eyes widened at the outburst. Sam shook his head immediately, annoyingly long hair flopping around. He better not leave his door unlocked at night, it would take him 2 minutes with the clippers-

"So hows Cas?" The younger Winchester asked, a hint of a smile tugging at the side of his mouth.

Dean swallowed his food and masked his surprise with the look of pure annoyance, "Sleeping I guess? You've been back there as much as I have."

"Yea, saw you managed to get the wings wrapped," Sam observed, leaning back a bit, his plate cleaned.

Better cleaned the damn plate, Dean worked hard on that the freeloader.

"Yea, the skin looked raw. Said his grace wasn't up to full speed yet, I guess its working over time so those things don't pull his damn spine outta his back."

Sam nodded, the look on his face was familiar to Dean; the same look he had when he knew something Dean didn't and couldn't wait to divulge the information.

Dean sighed, rolled his eyes and set his fork down. "What is it?"

"Whats what?"

"Spill, I know that look you asshole."

Sam just shrugged and shoved a small volume across the table to Dean, the binding worn and old with distinctive Enchocian symbols on the cover.

"You find something out about the spell?" Dean asked hopefully, wondering why the hell Sam hadn't brought this up earlier.

"More about angels really, their wings in particular."

"Ok..." Dean trailed off, turning to the page that was marked with a thick red bookmark, a few scribbling translations on a small piece of notebook paper was stuck delicately between the pages. He recognized Sam's handwriting at once as he began to read.

Blah blah blah, angel wings are not visible to the human eye, attempts to do so are a direct blasphemy to the heavenly host yada yada, wings are the most vulnerable and person appendages on a celestial being. Wings are used for battle and flight but also for mating rituals and courtship.

Dean read over the last part a few times. And then a few times more when he realized his mouth was dry.

"Say now what?" Dean finally looked up to his mirthful younger brother.

"In addition to Cas's wings being annoying and awkward, he probably is pretty sensitive about touch right?" Dean just nodded, going along with it, but his heart was pounding in his chest. "From what I can tell wings are pretty personal to angels. Now I can only translate that a bit, but that maybe why they are so sensitive and knocked you half way across the room. They weren't made to be touched, at least not just by anyone."

Dean shut the book and slide it back towards Sam. "Well this is just awkward now."

Sam shook his head, "Well not really, I just wanted to let you know...They are really sensitive."

Dean huffed, massaging his lower back, "Yea well my ass and head would have loved that memo about 3 hours ago."

"Dean," Came a hoarse voice behind them.

Both of the brothers spun around to see the angel leaning on the door jam of the entrance to the dining room, his skin still paler than normal but still better than before. The wings were limp at his sides, pulled in tightly and trying hard not to brush the ground or walls this time as he stepped into the foyer.

"Dammit Cas you should have let us help you," Dean growled, his chair pushed back with an earsplitting screech as he rushed to the angel's side and grabbing his upper arm as the seraph tried hard to stay upright with the extra weight working against him.

"I assumed I would be able to walk down a hall without your assistance Dean," Castiel grumbled but did not pull away as Dean led him to a chair, and sat down heavily in it.

Dean sat back down in his own chair, noticing that he had placed the angel next to him instead of Sam and for some reason that bothered him. It was just closer, he argued with himself.

"You uh, want to try to eat something?" He heard Sam chip in, pushing a bowl of spaghetti towards the angel who had apparently been looking at the dish rather longingly.

Cas paused, looking at the food with a curious head tilt, "I tried a varied cuisine when I was human but I must admit I have never been able to try that one. It seemed very expensive." He admitted, picking up the fork and pushing it through the mess of noodles and tomato sauce.

Dean felt a stab of guilt at Cas's admission; he should had been there when he was trying food. He shouldn't have had to scrape to get a meal or look at certain dishes and wonder if he could afford it with what crumbled bills he had shoved in his pocket. Dean was so deep in his guilt ridden thoughts he almost missed the euphoric moan that broke from Castiel's mouth when the food finally hit its mark.

"This. This is delicious," Cas exclaimed enthusiastically, a smear of tomato sauce on the side of his mouth while he chewed fast.

"Tell Dean he made it," Sam said, gesturing to the older Winchester who shook himself out of his revere when he heard his name.

Castiel nodded to Dean, "This is fantastic Dean, thank you for allowing me to partake."

The hunter nodded, "Well uh, partake as much as you want."

The angel didn't even acknowledge that he heard him as he continued to shovel the food into his mouth, obviously not knowledgable about basic table manners. But that was the first time in a long time that Dean saw the damn guy smile so what the fuck ever.

They all sat quietly for a few moments until Castiel's gaze fell on the book Dean and Sam had been reading just moments before he had walked in. His face suddenly flushed as he grabbed the text from Sam's hands, who was working on the last bit of translations while Dean and Castiel ate.

"Cas, what the hell?" Sam snapped, grabbing a few of the yellow pieces of paper that had floated off the book as Cas slammed it shut and brought it close to him.

"Where did you find this?" Castiel all but growled, flipping through a few of the pages with furrowed brows.

"Um, where all our books are," Sam said, confusion evident in his voice. "In the library."

Castiel hummed, flipping to the page Sam had been translating and his ears flushed visibly.

"What? Whats wrong with it?" Asked Dean, trying to peer over the massive wings to see what Cas was so upset about. Not that he could read much enchocian, but it was worth a shot.

"This is very personal texts, books like these are very rare," Castiel admitted, his eyes skimming over the words easily.

"Ok well that makes sense why we would have a copy," Sam said, looking nonplussed.

"THE copy. This is the only edition," The angel corrected, shutting the book but keeping his hands on it. "How far did you get?"

"Uh just that wings are very personal and vary angel to angel. It shows rank and accomplishments. Wing span varies and that they are not meant to be seen by human eyes," Sam listed, not really surprised by any of the information, though it was fascinating to learn about the creatures they knew vary little about despite the fact that one was one of their closet confidants for years. "Anything else we should know?" he prompted curiously.

Castiel shook his head, holding the book close to him, "No, I apologize. It is...unsettling knowing that your families histories and physiology is set down to paper. We thought this book was lost centuries ago."

"Who could have wrote it? I mean, like only angels know all that crap right?" Dean asked, leaning forward on his elbows.

Castiel's eyes flicked away from Deans, "It was a close friend of the hosts. They did not have authorization to do so, but this was hundreds of years ago."

"I wondered," Sam uttered, organizing the scattered notes around him. "It read more like a journal than an academic text."

The angel nodded, not looking surprised but more perturbed.

"How are you feelin?" Dean asked, breaking a small but awkward silence as the angel refused to give the book back to the youngest Winchester.

Castiel looked up, almost grateful for the interruption in his thoughts.

"My grace is thankfully help stabilize myself. I am hoping we can find the source of this curse soon, as this are...uncomfortable," Cas admitted, looking down at the table as if he were ashamed for his obvious discomfort and pain.

"Well Sammy's looking into it," Dean said picking up his plate and walking to the sink.

Sam cleared his throat, "Or I would be if I had my rare, one of a kind book back," he looked pointedly at the old, leather bound book that Cas currently had a death grip on.

"Oh," Castiel startled, looking at the text rather sheepishly before pushing it back to Sam, his eyes not meeting the other hunter's.

"Is there something wrong Cas?" Sam asked, pulling the book to him and opening it to where he had left off.

The angel shook his head, "No of course not. The book was just not meant for human eyes and its disconcerting that it is still around."

Sam held up the book, "This book is pretty much the only lead I got, unless you're holding back on something."

The angel sighed and shook his head, the wings drooping a bit in defeat.

Dean had been listening to everything in the kitchen, making noises like he was cleaning a dish. Probably could have cleaned the plate but fuck he cooked, Sam could do it.

His still felt slightly odd after learning more about Castiel's feathery appendages; Cas had been pretty clear about his sex life, or lack there of. So even considering Cas like that made his heart beat fast in chest and he couldn't quite figure out why. He didn't know if he wanted to.

The thoughts raced in head until he finally gave up and went to the fridge and pulled out a couple of beers from the inside. The cool glass in his hands instantly calmed him and he tried to walk past his younger brother and the angel without much of a fuss.

"Where are you going?" Sam called as Dean escaped down the hall.

"Garage!" Dean yelled back, not looking back and keeping the beers in front of him. Lately Sam had been giving him "looks". Looks that said you've had too many already or we should talk about our feelings or other useless crap. He'd been worried about the stupid angel and he had admitted that. With everything else piled on him, the guilt that resting on his conscious about the once fallen angel hit him hard. Castiel had always been there for him, no matter what. And the time the angel needed him the most, he cut him loose. He had been hungry and cold and Dean didn't do anything about it. Gadreel had had him by the balls and there was no going back, but now that the angel was at the Bunker he couldn't shake the guilt.

The hunter ended up bypassed the garage and ended up outside, just behind the bunker. The trees formed a canopy above him where stars peeked through; they were quite a ways away from any town so the city light did not seem to dim the brilliance of the night sky here. There was a fallen tree that had a small pile of empty beer bottles hidden underneath it, where Dean had come days before just to sit and think. Or not think, whatever the mood was that day.

He didn't know how long he had been out there but long enough to be lost in his thoughts. So lost that he almost didn't hear the twig snap behind him, but his hunter's senses warned him as he spun around hand going for his gun he had stupidly left inside. The grounds were warded though, he never felt the need to. And thankfully he didn't need it.

Castiel stood, his feet planted firmly apart, holding him upright as he looked up at the sky through the tree limbs. Dean's heart was still beating fast from the adrenaline but he didn't say a word as the angel's face softened and his eyes took in the beauty of the sky above them.

"I used to love looking at the stars, even in Heaven we have a beautiful array of constellations and planetary formations. But its still breathtaking here," He had breathed, his eyes never leaving the sky. "Seeing it as a human was terribly unsettling. I had never felt so small before-the universe, and the world itself is so incredibly vast."

Dean nodded his understanding, finally drawing his eyes away from Cas to offer him a beer. The angel took it thoughtfully and pulled a deep swallow from the condensation laden bottle, sighing deeply as he pulled away.

"It doesn't taste the same as when I was mortal,' Cas observed, glancing at the bottle almost mournfully. "But it still has a hint of something that I enjoy."

"Well knock yourself out, we got plenty."

He went back to sit on the log, looking back up at the stars and taking another long draw. There was a pleasant humming settling deep in his bones, his skin buzzing and he felt himself loosening as the alcohol took effect. Dean almost didn't notice as the angel took a seat beside him, his own warming bottle of beer dangling in his hands.

The angel sat a bit away from him, careful that his wings didn't touch the other man, both of them silent as the bugs and creatures of the woods went about their business. The only light being the harsh, flickering florescent bulb attached to the back door and the large moon that floated above them as a silent watcher.

"How you doing Cas?" Dean finally asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them and looking over at the quiet angel beside him.

Cas was mid sip, but nodded a bit as he swallowed his Adam's apple bobbing as he did so.

"I am, adapting I suppose," He answered truthfully, running a finger of the opening of the bottle. "I am remorseful that this happened at such an inopportune time, Dean." He looked up, his blue eyes wide and regretful and he searched the other man's for some kind of forgiveness.

Dean shook his head, patting his knee, "Its not like you did it on purpose Cas. We always roll with the punches, this time is no different."

Following Castiel's eyes he realized that his hand was still resting on his leg, his thumb trailing lightly on the soft fabric.

The hunter jerked his hand away like he had been burned, rubbing his hand against the rough material of his jeans as if he could rub away the feeling of Cas's knee between the thin material of the sweats.

"So uh," he stuttered, an embarrassed smile plastered on his face as he tried to shove the fluttering in his stomach down. "So can you fly with those things?"

Castiel's eyes flickered back to the feathery appendages mournfully.

"No, the human body and the wings are not designed for flight. Its regretful."

"Whats up with ya know, 4 pair? Not exactly the cute fluffy wings you see all over churches," Dean observed, his eyes scanning the feathery expanses.

"Angel's of my class have more than one pair, in my true form I have ten wings and the head of lion but thats beside the point," The angel divulged, taking another drink.

In his buzzed state Dean found himself looking at his friend and his brain working in overdrive to come up with something that Cas was describing. He found himself shaking it off because, fuck that was terrifying.

But here he was, the terrifying angel who had laid waste to most of heaven at one time, sitting next to him with a beer in hand looking regretfully and lonely.

They sat together, silent as the crickets sang in the night.

Dean tried not to think to deep into the fact that he felt Castiel's wings relax and spread to hoover over Dean's form.

Cas didn't look like he noticed and Dean was to content to care.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hi everyone! Hope everyone is having a great week so far and thank you to everyone who has favorited/followed/review my story so far. It really means a lot to me. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine, it sucks. Still not getting paid for this, sucks too.**

Dean woke up abnormally early that day; the reason was lost on him as he trudged warily out to the kitchen to start coffee. He passed the library and stopped, his eyebrows drawing together. Backpedaling, he came upon a scene he hadn't expect when he had woke up; all he wanted was a cup of coffee, eggs maybe? But no, there was Cas, sitting cross legged in the middle of the library, careful that his wings were not touching any of furniture, running his fingers studiously through his feathers. He had a look of complete concentration as he inspected each feather, smoothing it gently with his fingers.

Dean coughed loudly, alerting the angel to his presence. Cas lifted his head quickly, his wings drawing in as if to protect themselves from the surprise guest.

"Hello Dean," Cas whispered, his voice like gravel and his eyes wide like he had just been caught doing something unseemly.

Maybe he had? Dean had no idea what the hell he had just walked in on.

"So, um. What are you doing?" The hunter finally asked, looking around as the room had been purposely rearranged, all the chairs, couches and end tables were pushed back nearly to the wall, while Cas sat directly in the center.

The angel looked down as if he was embarrassed, "I apologize, my room was not big enough for my wings to properly spread out."

"Still doesn't quite explain-"

"They were unkempt, so I was adjusting them. It takes time and patience so I did it during a time I felt that I would have more solitude."

Dean nodded in understand, almost wincing as he focused on the clock above the Castiel's head and realizing he was up at an ungodly hour.

"So are they uh, good now?" Dean asked, gesturing the feathers without really looking at them.

Castiel nodded, the wings pulling in beside him, shuffling a bit as he stood. "As well as I can get them by myself."

The hunter resisted the urge to look over the appendages, despite how his eyes seemed to be drawn to them. It was annoying and pathetic, so he simply shrugged and walked out to the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing a beer. He heard the shuffle of the angel behind him, he was still unsteady on his feet and he seemed to resign to dragging his feet on the floor to afford some semblance of balance.

"Isn't it a little early for alcoholic beverages?" Castiel inquired, his head tilted in his trademarked gesture for his confusion. Dean shrugged, taking another pull from the frosty bottle, still refusing to look at the angel and shouldered past him back into the main room.

Sam came stumbling out at this time, hair sticking in every which way and his shirt rumpled from sleep, "We're out of coffee," he grumbled, sitting down hard in one of the bunkers chairs, practically pouting at this point.

The older hunter nearly leapt that the opportunity to leave the bunker and the stifling, overwhelming presence that was Castiel. "Yea I'll make a run," Dean answered, standing up from the table and his coffee cup.

Dean found himself just a short time later with a crumpled, barely legible note of the items Sam insisted they needed. He gratefully turned the stereo up in the old car, the window rolled down allowing the brisk air to hit his face as he drove into town.

It was a quick and easy trip, but it was just enough time for him to clear his head and breath for a few minutes without Cas and his damn wings pulling at his thoughts. He walked out of the grocery store, bag in his hand while he fumbled with the Impala's keys, humming a bit to himself.

"So, hows Castiel faring?"

The hunter tensed, his whole body on alert as he closed his eyes and locked his jaw as he turned to see the annoying owner of the voice.

"Coming down to bump shoulders with us mortals?" He glared, his eyes darting around Metatron for any back up. His hand that was currently clutching the groceries was slowly inching to the back of his jeans where he kept his gun.

Metatron's eyes tracked the careful movement of Dean's fingers with a smile, "No need for that Dean, just checking in. Seeing how my old friend is doing."

Rising his eyebrows, Dean smiled, "Well don't know you? You're God now right?"

He could see the slight twitch of the angel's eye brow as he openly mocked him, waiting for a response. Or hell fire, which ever came first.

"Your bunker is warded extremely well, so I will say bravo to that hunter," Metatron agreed with a slight shrug of his shoulders, "I like to call it a plot twist."

Dean huffed and turned his back on the angel turned deity, "Yea well plot twist this asshole, I'm not telling you shit about Cas," He unlocked the Impala and tossed the bag of groceries inside before settling himself in the drivers seat and leaning out the window as he revved the engine.

"Has his grace started malfunctioning yet? And how are the wings faring without the help and grace of Heaven? Probably only a matter of time now," The short angel grinned, enjoying every word and all that it entailed as it dripped from his mouth like poison. "I'm sure you will figure something out."

Dean resisted the urge to stop, to punch that stupid asshole in the face and demand to know what he did to Cas; what the wings are doing to his human body. Dean saw it in the way that Cas shuffled around the bunker, the way his back hunched and the way his spine was bending to the weight of the wings.

It was killing him slowly and Metatron was planning on that.

Spinning out of the gravel parking lot he sped away until Metatron was simply a laughing speck in his rear view mirror.

Fuck they were so screwed.

Again.

**SPNSPNSPN**

"Hey Cas," asked Sam, sitting across from the dejected looking angel. "Can you help me out with a few of these translations?" He pushed the old, frayed text towards Castiel who took it carefully, his eyebrows furrowing as he read the page Sam was indicating.

If Sam didn't know better he would think that the angel was blushing, as his wings fluttered a bit around him. "Whats wrong?"

"I do not think it is wise for you to continue this translation,' Cas finally spoke, clipped and unwilling to meet Sam's eyes.

The younger Winchester leaned forward on his knees, confused, "I don't understand, thats the only thing we have to go on. This is the only text I've been able to find that goes into detail about angel physiology."

"Exactly," Castiel mumbled, closing the book and handing it back to the hunter. "The knowledge it contains was not meant for humans."

Sam turned to text over in his hands, "Cas it was written by a human, you said so yourself."

The celestial being nodded, his four wings tilting a bit with him, "I am aware."

The hunter leaned closer to the angel, catching his eyes, "Cas, what is in here that you don't want us to know? We're your friends, we want to help."

Sam couldn't understand why the angel was being so cagey, his wings twitched in agitation and he could swear he could see sweat beading on the angel's brow.

"Cas are you alright?" Asked Sam, standing up and backing away slowly and the spasming of the angel's wings became more vicious. As Sam reached out to put a hand on the heaving man's shoulder, Cas reacted violently, pushing Sam back hard with his Grace, books and knick knacks flying off the shelf as Sam was slammed into it.

Sam scrambled up, his back smarting from the hit but his immediate concern was Cas, who was looking at him with wide, frightened his eyes. As the younger Winchester went to stand, Castiel stumbled back from couch, shuffling away from the hunter and toppling an end table and a hot cup of coffee as he did so.

"Stay back!" Cas cried, sweating now pouring down the angel's contorted face; even as he spoke, flecks of light seemed to be trying to escape his mouth, the white light leaking behind his eyelids.

His back finally hit the wall behind him, his wings curling in as they took the brunt of the impact as he cried out and fell to the ground, still pushing himself away from Sam.

"Cas talk to me dammit!" Yelled Sam, still keeping his distance from the agitated angel.

The seraph shook his eyes, his head shaking wildly, "I cannot control it,' he forced out, pressing a hand to his sternum, wincing as he tried to draw breath after painful breath. "Its too much, everything is too much."

The hunter drew back again as Castiel whined and pitched in the corner of the library, his wings twisted and bent as he almost tried to burrow into the wall.

"Stop moving Cas! You gotta calm down ok!" Sam demanded, trying to keep his voice steady, trying to remain calm for the overwhelmed man. But Cas seemed lost in his own thoughts, Enchocian spilling from his lips as he tossed his head back and forth, only stopping to cry out and hold his chest intermittently.

"Hello?"

The hunter thanked his lucky stars as he saw his older brother walking down the stairs, grocery bags in hand.

"Dean! I need your help now, its Cas," He cried, his eyes still not leaving the angel's shuddering body, afraid of what he would do if he left. At least he couldn't fly away at this point, and what exactly would he do if he went insane? Stolen grace or not, Castiel was stronger than him, if his back was any indication.

He heard the paper bag drop and the heavy footfalls as Dean darted into the library, "Holy shit what the hell happened?" He asked, taking in the room that was currently laying in turmoil.

"I don't know, we were just talking he started this," Sam pointed to Cas who was still mumbling, his eyes darting around as if Sam and Dean were not even there.

Dean looked at the angel, Sam could see his jaw clench as he gritted his teeth. He stopped Dean as he started towards their friend, "I wouldn't go near him, he threw me into a damn wall. I don't know if he knows where he is."

But Dean shrugged off the words of wisdom from his younger brother along with his hand and carefully made his way over to the fallen angel. Sam saw him take in the spilled drink and knocked over books and table; casualties from the angel's rampage in his effort to escape.

The older hunter raised his hands, carefully moving towards Castiel, keeping his eyes on the large twitching wings that seemed to react to each step he took, "Hey there man, take it easy ok?' he whispered as gently as he could. "Its just me ok? Just me."

Cas's breathing sped up as he grew closer, Sam itching to hold his brother back but he had a feeling if he made a move now Cas would flip.

He waited on bated breath as he brother knelt just a few feet away from the angel.

**SPNSPNSPN**

The nearer Dean drew, the more agitated Castiel's wings shook, trembling like leaves while the grey, smaller ones were pulled in as close as possible to his body.

"Its just me man, ok? Calm down–" Dean ducked quickly as one of the wings nearly knocked him down as he moved to kneel next to the vulnerable angel. "I said calm down Cas you're going to hurt yourself!"

But the angel just continued to mumble in Enchocian, like he didn't understand what Dean was saying. And judging by the lost, glazed over look that had washed over the blue eyed man, he couldn't.

"Dean!" He heard almost Sam's warning too late as Castiel's right wing whipped around again, flapping with no actual destination but a frenzied panic.

It only took a moment for Dean to see an opening and he took it; the right wing was folding back in towards Cas and the left one was pinned awkwardly underneath his body, the feathers crushed and painful looking. So he jumped, grabbing Castiel's wrists and pining them to the side of his head and straddling his waist, trying to be careful of the 4 wings underneath him, but if he didn't stop this now, Cas was in real danger for fucking himself up for good. He didn't even want to think of the consequences of this fit.

Castiel squirmed immediately as he felt Dean's weight on him, bucking and shaking his head over and over, his hair flying wildly.

"Sam grab his legs!" The hunter cried as he felt a knee connect with his back as the angel attempted to dislodge him, still yelling what sounded like threats in his native tongue. Dean felt Sam behind him, grabbing Castiel's legs so he focused on the angel below him.

"Cas, listen to me buddy, you gotta calm down," Dean encouraged softly, trying everything in his power to remain collected, to try to soothe the wildness below him. "It's Dean and I am right here feathers, ok? Just calm down and everything will be fine."

He repeated this over and over, hoping Sam didn't see the way his thumbs were caressing Castiel's wrists even as he held them down. It felt like an eternity before Castiel stopped fighting against him, before Dean could feel the beating of his chest thumping in his chest. Castiel's eyes were still wide and nervous, the wings were twitching but barely noticeable now.

"You with us, feathers?" Dean asked, letting his grip on the celestial's wrists relax when they stopped pressing against his hands.

There was a slow nod from the man below him and he felt Sam release Cas's legs and move away. It was at that point that Dean became painfullly aware that he was still straddling his shirtless best friend, who was shaking like a leaf beneath him, his sharp hip bones pressing into his thighs.

Cas's wide eyes meet his own, his mouth opening and closing a few times before finally allowing words to slip past the chapped lips, "Dean?"

The hunter quickly removed himself from atop the angel and knelt next to him, careful of the bent feathers. "Hey, Cas you with us now?"

The angel nodded, looking around the destroyed library, his eyes flickering between Dean and Sam while his breath sped up.

"I hurt you, I could have killed you both-" Castiel sputtered, moving to sit up but grabbing his right wing in pain. "I am so sorry, Sam. I didn't realize, I didn't mean to."

Sam stayed where he was, not wanting to crowd the downed man, "Cas calm down, I'm not angry and I'm fine, I swear."

Castiel nodded, closing his eyes as he sat up, propping himself up on by the wall.

"Cas, you hurt?" Dean asked, taking in the short, shallow breathing. "Talk to me man."

"My wings," Castiel admitted softly, the feathers moving underneath him as he attempted to free the pinned appendage. "I fell on it. And my chest is burning."

"There was light," Sam spoke up quickly, remembering the firework show that had been going on just before Castiel fell. "It looked like grace."

The angel nodded slightly, "It makes sense. The borrowed grace is breaking down as I had feared. I am a danger to you both,' he refused to look at Dean in the face, instead staring at the floor and holding his wing close to him. "If you would allow me just a few moments to clean up, I will leave. I never meant to put either of you in harms way."

Dean knew that Cas didn't see him shake his head, due to the fact that the blue eyed man was currently having a staring war with the floor, so despite the look from Sam he took Cas's hand that was fidgeting with the corner of his now untucked dress shirt, ceasing its movements.

"You're not going anywhere feathers," He corrected, pulling him up slowly to a semi standing position, wary of the wounded wings and the way Cas pressed against his chest with his other hand. "We're gonna get you fixed up ok?"

"This is an unwise decision," Castiel reiterated, his face drawn and pale. He was leaning heavily on Dean, his hand still locked in the other mans tight grip.

Dean smiled and shrugged, "Remember who you're talkin' to."

A few beats later Dean realized he still had Castiel's hand; and judging from the look on Sam's face it hadn't escaped his notice either. He dropped it quickly and took hold of the angel's upper arm as they walked out of the library.

They shuffled together down the hall, Cas panting with the effort, his free hand still clutching his chest.

"Your chest still hurting?" Dean asked, though he knew the answer. The pain lined Castiel's face, his chin was covered in stubble and he was sweating profusely. That stolen grace was breaking down inside of him and he was falling all over again. Dean would be damned if he would be doing it alone this time.

The angel just nodded as they ended up in the gym, the tall ceilings and sparing room empty save for a few benches and weights pushed against the wall.

"Why are we here?" Castiel asked confused as why they would end up in the gym in the first place. Dean leaned him against the wall and unrolled something that looked like an old training mat, it was thin but better than nothing.

The hunter unrolled it in the middle of the room and carefully guided Cas to it, gesturing him to sit. Castiel did quietly, his legs bending underneath him as he sat cross legged, his back bending as he leaned forward on his elbows to distribute the weight.

"I understand that you want to help me Dean, but I hurt Sam. I shouldn't be allowed to stay."

"Stretch your wings out, we need to check the damage," Dean commanded, rolling up his sleeves and grabbing a soft, wet rag from the sink behind them.

"Dean–"

Dean cut him off harshly, "Listen, your wings are obviously connected not only through your grace but your own damn nervous system. You're going to end up with nerve damage or worse if we don't take care of these, understand?"

The angel nodded, ducking his head as his unfurled his wings; the white tips touching the mirrored walls. Dean tried not to hold his breath but the sight before him was something he never thought he'd see before, though the wings were damaged they were still breathtaking, taking up the space around him and resonating pulse of pour energy that Dean could only assume was a byproduct of the grace that held it together.

He stepped forward slowly, carefully aware of the tense way the wings held themselves as he drew near. "Why do they do that?"

"Do what?" Castiel asked, looking over the top of the wing, his blue eyes still wide from the events that had just transpired.

"Anytime anyone gets close, they just tense up. Like they're ready to put someone through a damn wall," He now stood slower to the angel, just an arm length away from the top right wing- he could see a few of the damaged feathers from there.

Castiel ducked his head, "As you know an angel's wings are sensitive, but they are also our biggest weakness when exposed like they are. That is why it has only happened a handful of times. They sense energy around them and are prepared to protect me. Think of them as an extension of my grace, just manifested."

"So are they going to freak out if I try to help or what?"

Castiel tensed, "I don't know if that is such a good idea, Dean,' his words came out in an almost breathless whisper, Dean seeing all the muscles in his back tense at the implication.

The hunter ran a wary hand down his face, "Dude, we need to fix this now so we can figure out how to get rid of these before they cause you some serious damage."

"You realize what is happening don't you," Castiel said, it wasn't a question.

"Yea, its destroying the grace you took,' Dean replied, looking at the ground, "Your falling."

"Again, it would seem," Castiel nodded, his voice grave and deeper than normal. His wings shifting under Dean's scrutiny, he seemed to be holding his breath before he made up his mind. "Alright, just be careful."

The hunter nodded and stepped closer, his hand a mere inch from the white, rumpled feathers before he paused, "You sure? This isn't going to hurt you too bad?"

Huffing, Cas once again looked over his shoulder, " I don't have much of a choice in the matter. You're right, they are causing me significant discomfort. The faster we fix them, the less my grace will have to compensate."

With that Castiel turned his head and bowed it, leaving his back exposed and his wings unfurled towards Dean. The older Winchester couldn't put a finger on why that that was making him sweat or how it suddenly became difficult to breath. Pushing aside his insecurities, he carefully brought his hands up to untwist a particularly crumpled feather near the back shoulder blade, somewhere Castiel would have had no hope in mending.

As careful as he was being Castiel still gasped, his back going taunt and the wings stilling underneath the gentle ministrations. Dean kept going, watching for signs that it was becoming too much for the angel before smoothing it back into the feathery expanse. His fingers tingled a bit, almost as if he had been shocked earlier, a low, not unpleasant tingling originating in his fingertips.

Dean tried not to be distracted by the way Castiel's muscles moved under his skin, for a scrawny dude he still had a muscular build; he swept his fingers through a rumpled patch of white near the ends and carefully drug them through the plumage earning a choked gasp from the angel.

"Dude ok? Am I hurting you?" He asked, stopping his stroke, his fingers still dug into Castiel's right wing.

"I'm fine," Gritted out Castiel, his head still facing the floor, sweat dripping from his wild brown hair.

The hunter knew better than to ask twice, he always hated it when Sammy had continually asked how he was faring when sewing him up or setting a bone. Broke his concentration and breathing, so he assumed Castiel had his own way of dealing with the discomfort that this came along with.

It wasn't before too long that he moved on to the bottom grey wing, the smaller, stiff feathers were stained with the spilled coffee but otherwise looked well considering what a beating Cas had given them.

The hunter was deep into his task, wetting the soft white rag with holy water before brushing it against the sticky, dark stain. And thats when Castiel shuddered, a broken moan ripping from his lips while he leaned forward, his face screwed up in what appeared to be a grimace.

"Dude you ok?"

"I think we should stop,' Castiel panted, his breathing coming out in short gasps and his ears were tipped pink.

"Did I hurt you? I can get Sam to–"

"You didn't _hurt_ me Dean," Castiel ground out, finally allowing himself to look over his shoulder and look Dean in the eyes. The hunter swallowed hard; the ragged breathing, the blushed face and blown out eyes. Castiel's hands were balled into tight fists, his fingernails undoubtedly pushing crescent shaped marks into his palms.

"Holy fuck," Dean whispered, clambering to his feet and allowing the wet rag to drop on the floor with a slap.

"Dean I didn't know–"

The hunter raised his hand and slowly walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him and leaving the obviously distraught angel in the room alone.

The door shut behind him and felt like he could finally breath again, his face felt hot and his fingers were still tingling where they had made contact with the damaged feathers. It took a moment to clear his head, to realize that Cas hadn't been in pain from his careful touches but quite the opposite. He shouldn't have ran out of there, Cas said they were sensitive. The hurt look that was on Castiel's face as he had backed out the door will be forever etched in his memory.

He needed to think, he couldn't go back in there, not right now.

The hunter quickly located his younger brother, biting the end of his pencil in the now picked up library, still going over that old book of Enchocian.

"Dude, um Cas needs you. Just help him to bed or whatever," Dean barked, now waiting for a reply as he hurriedly made a bee line for his room.

"Why the hell can't you do it?" Sam called back, obviously annoyed at being ordered around.

A slamming door was the only reply he got. With a sigh, he shut the book carefully and went to assist the angel.

**SPNSPNSPN**

When Sam entered the gym he didn't expect the sight before him; Cas was sitting cross legged in the middle of the room, his wings spread out but drooping and dragging on the ground. He had his elbows propped up on the his knees and his head in his hands, Sam cleared his throat and pretended he didn't notice the slight shaking of the angel's shoulders.

"Sam?" Castiel ventured, his head lifting towards the Winchester timidly.

"Yea, uh Dean said you needed help getting to your room?"

Castiel was silent for a moment before nodding, raising an arm to the tall man, "I would be grateful."

The hunter took the offered arm and with an effort, helped the downed angel to his feet and watched him tuck the wings behind him with a grimace.

It was slow going to Castiel's room and he didn't say a word the whole way, just kept his gaze straight ahead and a firm grasp on Sam's arm. The younger Winchester deposited the angel onto his made bed, before walking to the hall. Before he shut the door behind him he paused, trying to think if he should even ask.

"So, did something happen with Dean or what? He seemed pretty pissed or something," When the devastated look poured over the angel's face, Sam wished he had kept his mouth shut in the first place.

Castiel shook his head, "Good night Sam."

Nodding Sam backed out of the room and shut the door, shaking his head as he headed back to the library. At least some people were getting sleep around here.

He poured himself another cup of coffee, making a face at the bitter, burnt taste but he didn't have the energy to make another pot. Oh irony.

Sam was close to cracking the last few sentences of the text, which had been slow going since Cas had been unwilling to assist. He guessed this could be an invasion to the angel's privacy but at this point this book was all they had to go on and right now the bunker and all the inhabitants in it were under the constant threat of being blown away by the errant grace that Cas had housed inside him.

It was probably a little past ten when Sam finished writing down the paragraph he had been working two days on and with sleep glazed eyes he looked down at his scribbled handwriting on the yellowed notepad. Reading the words again, and then once more for good measure, he pinched the bridge of his nose a headache creeping on at the revelation.

"Shit," he exclaimed softly, downing the last bit of now chilled, black coffee. No wonder Cas had been so wary of allowing the Winchesters to read this; no wonder he had been so shy about the whole damn thing.

Hurriedly, he scribbled a note to Dean and trudged to his older brothers room before slipping it under the door.

It was never easy

**AN: OK! WOOHOO I have my outline for this fic finished and there will be 1 (maybe 2) chapters remaining. I am going to be (at least attempting) to update once a week with long(er) chapters.**

**Next up! Dean reads the note and realizes why Cas has been so jumpy, Sam gets more than he bargained for and everything comes to a head with Castiel's stolen grace.**

**Reviews help feed the plot bunnies! ALSO I am thinking of making a tumblr JUST for my writing notes, update info etc. Thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hello my faithful readers. I apologize for the very tardy update. I got pretty sick for over a week and then a bunch of other stuff came up. I suck I know. I am really trying I just have been lacking motivation lately**

**I really want to thank the reviewers, because it really helped kick my ass in gear and write again **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, will never be mine and I'll never get paid for it. You happy now?!**

Dean slipped back into the bunker quietly, looking both ways as he crossed down the dark, empty hall with two beer bottles in his hands; the other 3 empty ones were still in the Impala. The garage was a perfect getaway. Both Sam and Cas knew that if he was in the garage that someone had better be bleeding in order to disturb him in there. Sometimes he tinkered with baby, sometimes he just sat in the car and read. Tonight it was neither; his mouth was sour with the taste of the last three beers he had very nearly inhales and the two bottles clinked in his hands as he opened his bedroom door and shut it as quietly as possible. All he needed right now was Sam's judging looks or Castiel's outright disapproval at his actions. Well fuck them, he needed a drink and he was going to have one. Or 5, whatever.

He set the condensation drenched bottles down on his table on top of a rumpled piece of paper to help drive off water rings (what? he wasn't an animal)

and sat down heavily on his bed with a loud sigh. The older hunter's eyes were heavy with sleep and intoxication as he blearily toed off his boots and kicked them over by the closet. He heard a thump so they must have gotten at least close. Laying back against the soft pillows he popped open his forth bottle and took a generous draw, instantly calming his nerves.

What the fuck had happened? He was just there, trying to help his friends and now things are going to be weird. Dean gripped the bottle tighter when he thought back to the broken moans that he had wrung out of the angel. He did. His hands brushing through the soft, velvet plains of Castiel's feathers caused that. That has to be a one way to ticket to hell right? Are angel's even allowed to get…physical? Obviously Gabriel and Balthazar were a bit unreliable sources in that matter.

"Why do I even care," he muttered to himself as he caught his train of thought veering down a dangerous path. This was Castiel's problem, he gave him a wing boner or whatever he could take care of it himself.

It wasn't until his eyes were closing, the bottle dangling half hazardly over the the side of the bed that he realized a folded up piece of yellow notebook paper next to his door, as if it had been pushed under it.

Grumbling to himself, he hoisted himself off the comfort of his bed and swiped the crumpled paper, rubbing his eyes as the words ran together.

It was Sammy's handwriting that was for sure, scribbled in haste and probably sleep depravation. The first lines he could tell were from the translation of that book Cas hated; its the same paper Sam had been using and it wasn't exactly worded in modern english.

Dean read over the lines twice. Then again. Shit.

The rushed scribbling below the translation was, "_Stop being stupid."_

Well that was uncalled for. Rolling his eyes he laid back down, his beers long forgotten as he held the note in his hand.

Once again, he had fucked up.

**SPNSPNSPN**

Dean didn't realize that he had fallen asleep until he was jolted awake by a loud slam that reverberated around the bunker.

He sat up instantly, immediately reminded of the note in his hand as it dropped on his bed. Shoving it in his pocket he raced out of his room, his socked feet padding down the hall quickly.

"Sam?" He cried immediately upon entering the larger rooms.

"Dean! Gym now!"

Dean cursed softly as he took off, now with a destination in mind. Throwing open the double doors to the gym he stopped, catching his breath from the short sprint.

Castiel was poised to strike in the middle of the room, his shirt had been discarded in shreds across the room and the sweat pants he had been wearing where riddled with holes. His feet were bare and sweat trickled down his face and torso as he heaved each ragged breath.

The angel didn't have a weapon, but his hands were up in defense and Dean knew from personal experience that Cas was not unarmed without a weapon; even with the dwindling grace he was still stronger than any demon.

"Sammy, talk to me," Dean said anxiously, his eyes not straying from the man in front of him, wings splayed out and nearly touching the ceiling.

Sam had a gun in his head, pointed at the angel though the safety was on, "I don't know, one minute we were talking the next minute he just hulked out and nearly threw me through a wall."

"Sam put your gun down," Dean whispered, eyes darting to the weapon that his brother held skillfully.

The younger Winchester wavered for a moment but carefully lowered, but keeping it at the ready. He wasn't taking any chances; Cas could rip them apart if he was not in the right frame of mind.

The hunter turned his attention back to the trembling angel in front of him, Cas's lips curled into a snarl as their eyes met.

"Cas, hey buddy its just me. Just Dean, ok?" He kept his hands out and took a small, tentative step forward. "No ones gonna hurt you, but you gotta stand down ok?"

The angel snapped at him in short, brutal Enchocian, his eyes blown wide and scared even as he spewed threats from what it sounded like.

"Dean, maybe we should get some holy oil, just trap him until he comes to-"

Dean shook his quickly, his stomach lurching at the thought of the angel encircled in holy oil; his wings could get burnt, he could hurt himself.

"Castiel its Dean, you need to calm down,' he tried again, softer as he took another step towards his friend. "Its that grace ok? Its fucking with your head, you're safe here man. Always will be."

Dean was only feet away now, he could see the tension in the angel's back and it strained to keep the wings held at such a defensive stance, he could see his eyes darting from side to side as Dean spoke, as if he was trying to remember something.

A soft whisper in Enchocian broke past Castiel's lips, his eyes wide as he spoke it as if the fog was clearing.

"Thats is, Cas, just stand down," The hunter continued to whisper comfortingly, getting closer all the while.

The angel lowered his fists, his chest rising and falling rapidly as Dean now stood only a few inches away, their gazes locked as Cas struggled to control himself and the wild grace inside of him.

Carefully, Dean reached up and placed a hand on the middle of Castiel's bare, heaving chest; anchoring him.

"Dean?" Came Castiel' s voice, in english this time, "Did I hurt anyone."

The older Winchester shook his head, keeping his hand on his chest and bringing the other one to brush affectionately against his chest–he felt a small smile tug at his lips but he saw the confusion in Cas's face and quickly dropped his hand, his finger tips brushing his wings that had now moved into a more submissive stance.

"I don't feel well," Castiel admitted suddenly bowing over a bit as a wave of dizziness overtook him.

Dean quickly grabbed onto the angel's shoulders, trying not to notice the way Castiel bit his lip as he ran his finger tips along the base of the wing. The hunter's stomach flipped and he found himself brushing them again as Cas steadied. The angel stiffened and squinted his eyes at the man in front of him perplexed.

A cough from across the room brought them both back to reality, their eyes, once locked on each other now found their homes on different ends of the room.

"I'll take him to his room,' Dean said, his voice soft and his eyes looking Cas up and down.

Sam just nodded and tucked the gun into the back of his pants, looking more than grateful that he didn't have to use it.

They hobbled down the hall together, Dean taking the angel's weight as his own as the wings dragged uselessly behind him; they paused at the door, carefully maneuvering Castiel onto his bed.

The angel was trembling, even his wings shook as he stared off into space, his eyes blank and his teeth near chattering.

"Cas? Cas, talk to me man, whats going on?" Dean asked, trying not to let his anxiety seep into his voice as he kneeled next to the bed, his fingers itching to touch the sweat pant covered leg of his friend just to let him know he was there.

"Everything," The angel chattered out, his eyes still bleary and unfocused as he stared right past Dean, "I am feeling everything and I cannot control it. The wings, smells, sounds-its all coming back so fast-" He started shaking his head fast, his hands going up to cover his ears as he rolled in on himself as a whine broke free from his chattering teeth.

"Shit," The hunter hissed, watching as his friend deteriorated in front him, rocking back and forth as he continued to fixate on the wall. It only took him a minute; a second to take a deep breath and calm the beating of his own heart before he took Castiel's shoulders and gripped him hard enough to pull him away from the ball he had made himself into. The angel was overwhelmed; he was crashing fast and Dean didn't need an angel manual to see that or to know what he had to do.

Careful of his right wing he push him back onto the made bed, Castiel's eyes widening and catching Dean's as he did so; he let him man handle him until his wings were behind him, falling off the bed and his head cushioned by a pillow. Those blue eyes watched Dean as he quickly toed off his shoes and kicked them into the corner before pushing in next to him, the smaller bed hardly accustomed to holding both bodies, he pushed himself up against the trembling angel until their knees touched. The hunter reached down at the end of the bed and pulled the duvet over the two of them, a meager attempt to stop the shock that Cas seemed to be succumbing to. Castiel didn't object when Dean gently maneuvered him closer, until the angel's forehead was resting next to Deans'- almost touching; his wild dark hair smelling like the cheap shampoo Dean stocked the gym with. They lay there, side by side, Castiel pressing himself a bit closer until their feet were tangled together.

"Breath with me Cas," The hunter whispered, his voice rough and deeper than usual but he tried not to think about the cause. Castiel nodded minutely, his sweat soaked head bumping his own. Dean moved his hands from Castiel's forearms when he was sure he wasn't going to go anywhere and slide them down to his hands which were currently balled into fists at his chest.

He took them, gently in his own and brought their intertwined hands to his chest, allowing the angel feel the beating of his heart against his chest; the steady rise and fall as he breathed deeply with the other man.

"Dean-"

The hunter shook his head, closing the small space between their heads and allowing himself to feel the angels warm skin against his own.

"Just keep breathing, 'cause I am right here, ok?" Whispered Dean, his eyes pressed tightly closed as he spoke. "You crashed last time by yourself. I couldn't help you. But I am right fuckin' here and you won't be alone this time ok?"

"Promise?" Came a soft, broken question- almost too soft to hear against the soft rustling of feathers against the blanket. "You won't leave me?"

Something burst in the hunter, a deep ache resonating deep in his chest; something he had been holding back for so long. The pain of letting Cas go time after time, of knowing how much pain he was in. How much of that pain had he caused when he kicked him out of the bunker? It was his fault Castiel got tortured in the first place, when he was forced to steal that other angel's grace. And it had all been for him. It had always been for him.

Untangling one of his hands from the angel's, he swept it through the sweaty hair, down his face before cupping his chin and forcing the other man to look at him; the sorrow and pure hope shining in the pained blue eyes almost made the seasoned, grizzled hunter loose his breath. He couldn't speak. So he didn't.

Dipping down, his eyes still on Cas's, gauging his reaction all the while, brushing his nose against the smaller man's.

"Dean-"

He let go; breaking eye contact only to collide their lips solidly together, the hand that was cupping his chin now roamed to the back of his neck to pull him closer, breaking a moan out of the smaller man as he gasped into the kiss, his lips parting easily as Dean ran a tongue over his chapped lips.

Castiel tasted like light; a hint of metal and ozone mixed in and with a pang Dean realized it was the grace leaving Castiel's body; so slowly the angel probably barely knew it. He broke away, his chest heaving as he finally opened his eyes, his stomach flipping as he waited for Cas to yell or be disgusted. Or zap him back to hell if he still had the juice.

But all he saw was the angel's wide eyes and still parted, red bruised lips.

"I am not going anywhere, ok?" Dean finally managed when it was clear Cas was not going to be the one to speak first.

"Okay," Castiel nodded before pressing himself under the crook of Dean's neck, softly pressing a fleeting kiss to his adam's apple before reaching for his hand again, which Dean gave him.

And they stayed like that; knee to knee, pressed as close to each other as possible for the rest of the morning.

**AN: I really hope all that fucking fluff made up for some of my tardiness 3 3 3**

**Leave reviews, they help me continue more than anything.**


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